Sleep My Gohan
by AkurnaSkulblaka
Summary: Companionfic to Depiction in Red. Sort of a sequel, I guess. Gohan contemplates his father's decision to not return to the living.


**Song: Keep Holding On – Avril Lavigne Companion read to Depiction in Red, it is advised that you read it first.**

Sleep My Gohan

_Who am I living for?_

Sadness. It seemed to be a forefront in his life lately. Gohan's drive seemed to wither away the moment he heard his father wasn't coming back. His longing to live, eat, laugh, love… fight. They were all at the farthest reaches of his tired mind. Yes, tired. Sleep was never forthcoming as he lay in bed at night. All that he could think about was his father's decision. He knew that it was for the better, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

_There's no reason to live any longer._

Who was he living for if not for his father? He asked himself every day. His father was his life, and he was gone. Gone. In Otherworld most likely training with King Kai. And the worst part was that it was all because of his own petty desire to toy with Cell. He wanted to showcase his power, to show the saiyan that he was. Goku did the right thing in trying to take the green snot out. His father knew what he had to do. Why couldn't he? Gohan sighed.

Training.

It wasn't something he did often anymore. His father would be disappointed. He could feel himself wasting away. In more ways than one. Vegeta always boasted of a Saiyan's enthusiasm to fight. He would brag of warrior races and that Saiyans were the pinnacle. Gohan didn't feel like a Saiyan. No. He didn't.

_My motivation to live has waned, there's nothing I can do._

School seemed to be a chore. But he would only make his mother feel worse if he didn't do it. So he did it.

His mother, she was a mess. He knew what she'd been doing. He just didn't know what to do about it. It killed him to see his mother mutilating herself the way she was. He would have been angry with his father but he loved him too much to feed that anger. And he was certain his father would never abandon his family for no good reason. He just wished he could talk to his father. The man who saved the earth countless times.

The man who gave up everything to save it once more.

_Who am I living for?_

Gohan couldn't even find the energy to be angry at the lack of recognition from the world Goku so dearly loved. Everything. _Everything. _All of it was given up for the blind fucks that seemed to think some hairy baboon with a moustache, who couldn't swat a fly let alone kill Cell, was the savior of the earth. No he couldn't even do that. He was numb.

_Who do I have left?_

Well he had his mother. Well, what was left of her. He needed to do something before the both of them ended up dead along with his beloved father. Nothing was going to change unless he did something about it.

He turned to look at the stairs when he heard his mother's small booted feet stepping down the stairs.

"Hey mom," he said completely aware of his mother's recent doings.

"Hello Darling," Chichi said "I'm going over to the grocery store to get some things okay, love you." She turned and walked to the front door and opened the door. She walked out into the sunlight and Gohan made a decision.

"Mom!" he looked at his mother's depressed form, her back hunched, face pallid in the bright sunlight.

"I love you so much. Just know that." He said and sent her a small smile. She seemed to straighten a bit and her dull eyes brightened. He wondered if that was all she needed. For someone to show her that she was loved by more than just Goku.

"I love you too." She said then turned to continue her way to the capsule car.

_Who am I living for?_

Gohan smiled and turned to walk inside. He climbed the stairs and walked into his bedroom where he collapsed face first onto his bed. His eyes drooped in the first signs of exhaustion he'd had in a while. With a painfully wide yawn and barely enough time to snuggle beneath the covers, Gohan fell asleep.

_Me._

**Hope you liked! :D Companion read to DIR and one of the first DBZ fics I've written in a while. Don't forget to review~! **

**AkurnaSkulblaka**


End file.
